Love Me The Way I Need You To
by SelenaMDV
Summary: Sam, 15 years old and can't control his feelings for his older brother.. Dean is only 19 and doesn't know how to handle his little brother's affections. Warning: Ends tragic.


"SAM, What the hell are you doing? STOP IT!" Dean pleaded.

"NO! No one loves me!" Sam cried out.

"That's not true, I love you more than words can explain!"

"But you don't love me ..Like that"

"Just give me the fucking knife ..Now!"

"No, I will end it.. For your pleasure.. You will be happy without me around.."

"How will that give me pleasure?" Dean asked, confused.

"I'm doing it!"

Dean walked a few steps closer but stopped when he saw Sam placing the knife over his throat.

"Please don't, please, I beg you, don't do it!"

"Too late.'' Sam said and started to slide the knife across his throat.

When Sam was just about to carve his own throat open, Dean jumped down to his little brother and took the knife out of his hand and ..Kissed him. Sam was mesmerized by his kiss. He had never felt anything better. His head was filled with thoughts, messing with is head, but what was clear was that he was being kissed by his big brother. Finally! Dean never stopped shocking..

"Mhhhhh" was all Sam could say with his big brother's lips locked with his own..

Dean retracted and looked him straight in the eyes.

"Now, will you please stop this?" Dean asked.

"You love me after all?" Sam asked, wiping away his tears.

"I've always loved you, and I always will" Dean said and smiled.

Sam's head fell down on his big brother's chest, making his shirt wet with tears.. Dean stroked Sam's back gently to show affection and sympathy.

"I love you Sammy, I do.. I love you so very much, you can't imagine. If I had lost you, I'd be dead inside forever.. This world means nothing to me without you in it..

Sam, clenching to Dean's sides, cried harder and tried to push some words out.

"I Love you too fucking much Dean!"

"There will never be too much love, Sammy." Dean said and put his head on Sam's shoulder.

"Dean?" Sam said before he took Dean's head in his hands.

"Yeah?"

Before he knew it, Sam's lips were on his own again. Dean did not want this at all. This was wrong. He loved Sam so much, but just not like that..

Sam moaned and put his hand up Deans shirt.

"Sam, no, please don't" Dean said, pushing Sam away.

"Ok.." Sam said and smiled. He went into the bathroom, leaving Dean sitting on Sam's bed.

Dean heard weird noises from the bathroom and ran in there to find Sam on his knees in front of the toilet with his fingers down his throat.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Dean demanded.

"I am trying to get skinnier.. What do you think!"

"Why the hell would you even do that?" Dean asked.

"I thought you liked skinny boys.." Sam said, ashamed.

Dean remembered. A week ago they were at this weird café in Chicago watching hot guys walking by he had said that 'he liked them skinny'.

"If you get any skinnier, you're going to die or something, so stop it! Please!" Dean said, worried.

"I would like that.. To die I mean.." Sam said calmly.

Dean put his hands on his ears and screamed!

"STOP IT, GOD DAMN IT, I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE"

"Neither can I" Sam said before he sank down next to the toilet.

"What do you want me to do, Sam, please tell me so this can end!"

"You know what i want!" Sam said and tapped the floor with his fingers..

"You are pushing me into a corner here. Why do you do this to me?" Dean said as he tugged his own hair with both hands.

"I'M IN LOVE DEAN, IN LOVE!" Sam shouted at him. ''I can't fucking control it..''

"Why? I'm not the one for you, I'm your fucking brother Sam! Can't happen!"

Sam started crying again. He tried to run out but Dean stopped him, but Sam got away from him. Sam went to bed crying. Dean didn't sleep much that night. With thoughts of his little brother killing himself or do something idiotic. Next morning Sam woke up to breakfast on the bed and a happy looking Dean right next to him.

"Morning, bro. Breakfast for you!" Dean said and patted him on his back.

"Thanks" Sam said and gave a half ass smile.

The day went by slowly without any nonsense.. But when the evening came creeping up on them, Sam's emotions started to stir up shit again..

"Do you love me Dean?" Sam asked while sitting next to him, watching TV.

"Yes I do, Sammy, very much so.." He said while still watching the TV.

"I.. I still want you." Sam whispered.

"Gonna go down this road again? God damnit, Sam! Please don't!"

"I am very depressed Dean.." Sam said and turned the TV off.

"You can talk to me, you know that, right?" Dean said.

"I know, but you don't want to talk about it.." Sam said and looked away.

"Sam, please, not tonight, not ever.. I can't do this again."

Sam was so full of emotions, he felt like the one person he loved the most didn't love him back. He heard Dean say it but he just couldn't believe it.. Dean never proved it.. He was fed up with everything. He started to cry again.

"I know what would help.. Those pepper chips I like so much!"

"Ugh, okay, be nice" Dean said and got up.

Dean opened the front door ready to go out when Sam rushed over.

"Wait!" Sam said.

Sam gave Dean the hug of a lifetime..

"You know I love you Dean!" Sam said and smiled through his tears.

"I know, I love you to, very much!" Dean said and smiled.

Dean was thinking it was a very weird moment that just had happened. It was something off about it. He went down to the kiosk down on the corner and got the chips.

When he came back he locked the door behind him and called for Sam.

His answer was silence.. Freezing silence.

"Sammy?"

He went into the kitchen. Sam wasn't there.

He went into the living room. He wasn't there either..

He went into the bedroom. Sammy wasn't there...

He then went into the bathroom. There he was, in the tub.. Dean's face froze. He couldn't move. He couldn't feel his legs.. There was blood everywhere, on the walls, on the sink, on the toilet and on the now broken mirror. Dean couldn't bear to look at his little brother, who he loved with his whole heart. No he could not bear to look at his little brother in the tub.. Dead.

Sam had used the broken mirror as a weapon to kill himself while his big brother was out getting him chips.. He could see he had rushed.. he had cut up his wrists and throat. He was really desperate. He really wanted to die.

Dean sat down on the floor next to his little brother in the tub and took his hand. Dean's whole body started shaking when he felt Sam's cold hand in his own. Dean was not prepared to live the rest of his life without his brother. All alone..

"What have you done? How could you?" Dean whispered out. Tears were flowing down his face..

Dean didn't want to go through rest of his life without Sammy, so he knew what he had to do.

''See you in heaven little brother..''

He got his gun, took Sam's hand in his own and pulled the trigger.


End file.
